Living with advanced cancer

You may hear healthcare professionals use different names to describe cancer that’s advanced beyond early stages, including advanced, secondary, metastatic, terminal and progressive cancer.

We define advanced cancer as a cancer that is unlikely to be cured.

Coping with the news

You may be feeling like you can’t take it all in.

“You just go completely numb at first and you can’t think. And everything just sort of starts spinning around you.”

You don’t have to pretend everything is okay or try to hide how you feel. These feelings can come and go along with others such as:

Shock and disbelief – These common reactions can make you feel like time has stopped.
Anger – Anger at yourself, your family, doctors, at the world, your god or fate can come from the loss of control over your life and cause you to lay blame for what’s happening to you.
Anxiety (feeling insecure) and fear, such as fear of dying or fear of the effects of the cancer and its treatments.
Sadness and grief – You may mourn the losses caused by the illness (what you can physically do, a job or a planned trip). Or you may feel anticipatory grief, in which you begin to mourn death before it happens.
Denial – You might reject the diagnosis or what the doctors are telling you about the illness.
Guilt and regret – You may feel bad about things you feel you should or should not have done in your life.
Depression – This includes feelings of sadness, hopelessness and tearfulness. If these feelings become worse, last a long time and start to take over your daily life, they could be a sign of clinical depression. Depression can be treated.

Moving forward

Over time you may come to accept what is happening – that the cancer is unlikely to be cured and will likely lead to death. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on life. Rather, it allows you to take control of your life and focus on what’s most important to you.

More information on coping in the Canadian Cancer Encyclopedia

Last modified on: 26 November 2011